How I {don’t} Do it All
I love being a blogger. I really do. I have ups and downs, times when I’m super burned out and other times when I’m really gung-ho about blogging and all my projects. I have times when you can’t drag me away from my computer and other times when I have to force myself to get on and answer emails.
I was recently in a ‘burned out’ phase. But then I attended SNAP! Conference and got reinvigorated again. I have so many fun things in the works that I’m super excited to share with you. But to be honest, SNAP was exhausting and I still feel like I’m playing catch up. I’ve been really tired lately too. So please excuse my blog for not being the most interesting thing in your reader (you know, like it usually is.)
You might be wondering what this blog post is about. And frankly, I don’t really know myself. I’ve had so many things on my mind that my mind is kinda freaking out. Let me share with you a bit…
1. My husband is job hunting. He’s been doing a 1-year residency here in Utah and it ends in June. He’s a dentist, in case you didn’t know. And while he does have a few prospects in Utah, none of them are really ideal. There are so many things to consider when accepting a job offer. I might be biased, but I believe that my husband is an incredibly smart person with great potential. I think he’s going to do more than dentistry, I think he wants to make a difference in the oral health community. It’s hard not to wish that someone would just see what I see and swoop in with a dream job offer (with a dream salary!) Patience, Heidi.
2. My To-Do list is so long, full of tasks that are both exciting and intimidating. I have to potty train my second child. I really HATE potty training but it’s so nice when it’s done. We have to buy a new car. We have to fix our other car. We have to register Will for kindergarten. We have several major DIY projects to work on. And the list goes on and on and on.
3. I’ve been spending way too much time house hunting. For the last week or so we’ve been playing with the idea of buying a house and settling down–when there was a very good job prospect that didn’t turn out quite like we expected. And even though I have been waiting for 7 years to buy a house with my husband, the process is a lot more exhausting and frustrating than I expected it to be, and all I’ve done is look a little bit.
I have three little kids and a job that is nearly full-time. My kids are still little and not involved in too many extra-curriculars. I have NO CLUE how my blogger friends with older kids do it all! I feel like I’m drowning in all this life stuff–let along my blog. All I wanna do is sit in the sunshine and/or sleep. I haven’t had a vacation in a year and I really, really need one. I hope that happens sooner than later.
How are you all doing?
**Click on images for source
Thank you so much for posting this today. I had a mini breakdown last night just thinking that I’m doing a terrible job of being a wife, and a mother and a full-time employee and housekeeper, and contractor (for improvements to the house), and friend etc. Sometimes it feels like I’m just awful at all of them and it would be nice if I could just pick one for a while.
Oh Sarah–I’m sure you are an amazing wife and mother (and everything else.) It’s super hard to balance all those things and I think it’s impossible to be giving 100% to all areas all the time. Maybe we could wake up and pick one to work on each day. And the fact that you are even worrying about it–it’s obvious that you are a good wife etc because you care so much. xoxo
Thanks for sharing, Heidi. I feel you 100%. We are also in a state of flux right now and it is so hard. We just have to plug along and have faith that things will work out. Cuz they will. Beat of luck to you guys!
yes–the limbo state is so hard because you can’t really plan anything or work towards anything until you know what’s going to happen! Good luck to you too!
Thanks for sharing.
I’m about to have three little kids, too (I will by October) and I’m actually terrified about ‘doing it all’. I have been giving blogging a little less time. My blog is small, though. So it doesn’t matter. But I haven’t wanted to give it all up because it’s nice to have a place to share what I make.
That’s so true–it’s so great to have a community, no matter how big or small, to share your thoughts and projects with. Which is why I don’t think I could ever just give up blogging completely. But prioritize! And good luck with #3–it was my hardest transition for sure.
Thank you for sharing this today ~ I think so many moms will appreciate it. I have no clue how you “do it all”. I wonder that all the time when I see moms that blog, work, are SAHM (which is a really hard job!) cook, bake, do DIY’s and paint the house. I’m a Mimi so I’m way beyond those days but I’ll never forget the difficulties, along with the joys! I would offer that family comes first, before blogging. YOU come first! If you don’t take care of yourself, how are you going to do the jillions of things that are expected or that you expect from yourself?
Please, please put on your calendar date nights for you & hubby ~ these are imperative! Don’t discuss money, kids or chores. Act like you’re on a real date and check in with each other. This is vital for any relationship!
Put YOU on the calendar for “me” time. I don’t care if it’s for 2 hours, 1/2 a day, a whole day/night or a weekend. Get your hair done, have a mani/pedi, massage, facial, reflexology ~ something to make YOU feel relaxed and pampered! Put this in your budget and DO IT! You can always go to a beauty or massage school if need be. Ask for a Senior student and enjoy ~
Barter for babysitting, get a reliable high school or college student and set rules for them. You MUST do things for you & hubby and for yourself! I promise it will be worth it ~ 🙂
I hope you don’t hate me for saying all this.
xo
Pat
Thanks Pat–no of course I don’t hate you!! I will be definitely making more time for my husband and I! And of course once he’s got a good job, things will REALLY get easier. It’s this ‘limbo’ state we’re in that’s driving me crazy.
P.S. Check out my latest post and then visit Leslie’s blog re: comparisons. 🙂
Heidi,
Listen to Pat (the last commenter)–all great advice, which I never followed, though I received plenty of it! TRUST her, all my “Pats” were right, I can now see, @ age 64. I used to wink & think to myself, that either these women were not as clever as I was, or that I would just stay up later & get it all done. Looking back, I “martyred” myself that way with many clever projects that no one needed; it was just that I needed to do them. I would gather up (too) many fabulous ideas for a given holiday or occasion, & then exhaust myself with all the festivities. As time got shorter, some things would remain undone, some simplified, but mainly I would stubbornly hang on to the notion that world peace depended on each child going home with a handmade favor, or whatever was my current obsession. Half of them never made it off of the car floor, & yet I insisted on this process repeatedly, which doubtless was costly to my family.
When I would wake to use the bathroom, I would put in a load of laundry. I worked in a co-op to get organic food for my family. I worked fulltime, + taught sunday school, did my husband’s books, ran our babysitting coop w/ 2 wee ones, & community committees, & umteen other commitments. Once I had a total meltdown on Mother’s Day that rivaled my favorite scene in the film “Norma Rae”–(really inspirational, speaking of all women can do, if you were an infant when it played!) & I threw laundry across the room! My husband did more “stepping up” after that.
My favorite help when feeling this way is a) gratitude, which I know you practice–look @ your beautiful children & your many gifts! & b) “Let’s talk about the 368 things you did extremely well today, without recognition”. Why do we always focus on what remains undone, or not yet achieved? I still have this tendency, though now I clearly know better. So take the time you need, knowing you give so soo much, & it has to be enough. When you are tempted to take on some more, hug your sweet guys instead! They will not love you for your clever projects, or how organized your closets are. Your blog is a real treat for me, but I often wonder how it fits in w/ all we people do. I will be delighted to know you missed a post so you could read them a story!
“Take care of yourself” is so much more complex when you have so many people &things you take care of. But please try. (& know you have provided true pleasure for countless people who lack your energy & spirit.)
Heidi,
Listen to Pat (the last commenter)–all great advice, which I never followed, though I received plenty of it! TRUST her, all my “Pats” were right, I can now see, @ age 64. I used to wink & think to myself, that either these women were not as clever as I was, or that I would just stay up later & get it all done. Looking back, I “martyred” myself that way with many clever projects that no one needed; it was just that I needed to do them. I would gather up (too) many fabulous ideas for a given holiday or occasion, & then exhaust myself with all the festivities. As time got shorter, some things would remain undone, some simplified, but mainly I would stubbornly hang on to the notion that world peace depended on each child going home with a handmade favor, or whatever was my current obsession. Half of them never made it off of the car floor, & yet I insisted on this process repeatedly, which doubtless was costly to my family.
When I would wake to use the bathroom, I would put in a load of laundry. I worked in a co-op to get organic food for my family. I worked fulltime, + taught sunday school, did my husband’s books, ran our babysitting coop w/ 2 wee ones, & community committees, & umteen other commitments. Once I had a total meltdown on Mother’s Day that rivaled my favorite scene in the film “Norma Rae”–(really inspirational, speaking of all women can do, if you were an infant when it played!) & I threw laundry across the room! My husband did more “stepping up” after that.
My favorite help when feeling this way is a) gratitude, which I know you practice–look @ your beautiful children & your many gifts! & b) “Let’s talk about the 368 things you did extremely well today, without recognition”. Why do we always focus on what remains undone, or not yet achieved? I still have this tendency, though now I clearly know better. So take the time you need, knowing you give so soo much, & it has to be enough. When you are tempted to take on some more, hug your sweet guys instead! They will not love you for your clever projects, or how organized your closets are. Your blog is a real treat for me, but I often wonder how it fits in w/ all we people do. I will be delighted to know you missed a post so you could read them a story!
“Take care of yourself” is so much more complex when you have so many people &things you take care of. But please try. (& know you have provided true pleasure for countless people who lack your energy & spirit.) PS I noticed no other commenters post their last name, so please just call me susan. TY
Thanks Susan–sounds like you DID do it all! I will definitely be working on my time management and making date nights and vacations a priority!
PS I noticed no other commenters post their last name, so please just call me susan. TY
I LOVE your blog! I love that you’re a beautiful, incredibly talented person, who is real. You’re genuine – you don’t hide behind some facade; you help the rest of us to know that life can be messy, you can feel imperfect/inadequate, and that it’s normal. Often, I’ll check out your blog and think of what a crappy mom I am – I can’t advertise for Home Depot and create beautiful quilts – heck, I have about twenty that I’ve just started and quit on! Twenty may be a slight exaggeration, but still! There are a lot of projects in my house that are unfinished. Thanks for this post! I don’t have any advice, I don’t think you need it, but I’m grateful that you’d be willing to be so open about how you feel, because so many people (me!) feel the same way. Life is really beautiful at times (seriously over-used cliche, sorry), but it’s definitely not easy. And it’s good to know that I’m not the only one who feels that they’re almost drowning in the sea of things that I feel I should/have to be doing. Lots of love! (By the way, I really love this blog! Did I mention that already?) 😉
Thanks so much Carolyn! I’m sure you do an amazing job as a mother and really does it matter if those quilts get done 😉 I think everyone has things they are good at and things they could improve at and I definitely need to improve in a lot of areas! I hope you have a great day today and thank you for your sweet comments and support, it means a lot!
I hear you! I’ve been in limbo for the last…maybe 4 years? Still in limbo, but I feel like we’re finally starting to see a clearing ahead. I think the big thing I have to remember about accomplishing things with little kids around is that I CAN accomplish stuff, but probably only in 10-15 min. increments. That’s pretty frustrating when you’re just trying to get a job done, but I have to remind myself that I CAN do it, it’ll just take me a few days, instead of an afternoon. Also, I used to have a little blog and that was the first thing to go when I became overwhelmed. I appreciate you still posting (I haven’t posted anything in 6 months!)