D-Day (D=Donuts)
I was pretty sad last night. Sad, frustrated, and disgusted with myself. Why? Well here’s a little story about my day…
I woke up yesterday morning (to my two-year-old singing “Happy Birthday” at the top of his lungs–and no, it’s no one’s birthday) and for breakfast I made us some eggs…two eggs cracked and supplemented with Egg Beaters Egg Whites. Cut up an orange. Very healthy and protein-rich breakfast. Then I did a power yoga workout. For lunch I made myself a peanut butter sandwich with low-calorie bread. Later that afternoon I ate a low-calorie yogurt. For dinner I had meatballs made with ground turkey and a fruit salad (hmm…I needed to eat more veggies yesterday…) Then I went to our church youth activity and we did more yoga and had a fruit smoothie. Pretty healthy day, right? So why am I sad?
My husband bought donuts.
And they called to me. And then something inside of me whispered that I could have one and it wouldn’t hurt. But then after I had one, the STUPID part of my brain rationalized that I might as well have a few more because my diet was blown. Stupid, stupid, stupid! So I ate a few donuts, who cares?
It’s because I contemplate each food choice very carefully. Since I’m doing a lot of weight bearing exercises, I try to include protein with each meal. I count my calories and try to keep it under 1500 each day. In fact, today I really wanted chips and salsa, but when I saw that 7 chips was 150 calories, I thought ‘it isn’t worth it’. I have become super conscious of what goes in my mouth. And then I slip up when I could have so easily avoided it.
So I sat there, feeling sick to my stomach and very sad. But here was my saving grace: my sweet baby woke up and I fed him and carried him back to bed, savoring every moment. And I realized that all this grief to lose weight is worth it because I have my baby–my healthy, happy baby–here with me on earth.
Do you nurse? I for one am starving all the time…but now that my little bug is starting to eat food I have to watch my intake. I try to eat good; balance proteins and carbs, but I haven't counted calories since I was pregnant. Now I'm a big ol' cow and am really trying to cut down my eating. Donuts and cookies. Bad little devil foods!
I just started using MyFitnessPal.com last week. I too have become super conscious of where my calories come from. I have a vicious sweet-tooth but I can't let it ruin my progress. I have decided that I can budget for one sweet treat a week. Which means if I'm going to only get one, it's going to be something really good. Like you said about the chips, blowing 150+ calories on something like a candy bar just isn't worth it. One day of donuts does not a diet break though. Keep up the exercise! I'm actually really enjoying going to they gym, for the first time *ever*, mostly because it gives me a break from my own little guy.
And you're right; having a healthy, happy baby is totally worth the weight we put on.
BTW, I only recently found your blog and I love it. When I have cleared some long-standing projects off my plate I totally want to make a puff quilt for my son.
http://www.finallyfinishedcrafts.blogspot.com (I only started my own blog a little while ago. But feel free to look around.)