Raising an Autistic Child: a post by Moss and Clover
Hi everyone! I’m Terry, and I post all kids of crafts, decorating, furniture re-do’s, cooking, recipes and lots of other stuff at Moss and Clover. When Heidi asked for volunteers to help her out by guest posting, I couldn’t say no! As a mom to 4 kiddos and a pretty active family, I know how life can roll over us sometimes. And that’s exactly why I’m here today!
I have an almost 4 year old little girl and 8 year old triplets (2 boys and one girl). The first thing we hear when people find out that we have triplets is:
Crazy Cute, aren’t they?!?! ;o)
When the kids were a little over 2 years old, we noticed that one of the boys was behaving a little differently than his siblings. We didn’t really think too much of it at the time. We thought maybe this was one of those “unique developments” that happened to multiples. And it wasn’t anything unusual, really. He played alone quite a bit, didn’t really speak much, but with 2 siblings who talked non-stop, how could he get a word in anyway?? He was sweet, kind, smart, funny and a beautiful child.
After the triplets started preschool, things started escalating. His teachers had no idea how to deal with him. He was so B O R E D in class!!!!! There was no challenge in preschool and no rewards for good behaviour. I spent many days with him at home instead of in school. It was frustrating, heartbreaking and honestly, I felt so angry.
We decided to have him tested for some speech issues he had, and at that assessment they saw his humor, his brilliant mind, his playfullness and also his need for special services. He was immediately moved to a new preschool with teachers who were able to help him and work with him in a much more caring environment. After one week of preschool classes, my son was talking a LOT!!! He was telling stories and coming to us with questions, information and requests! This was HUGE! It was also the beginning of our journey.
Over the next 2 years, we met with more physicians, went through additional testing, and finally received a diagnosis:
I started doing a ton of research and I found that PDD-NOS is on the spectrum for autism. My son…my beautiful boy…has autism spectrum disorder. I was devastated! I didn’t want to believe it, but there it was, staring me in the face. As my hubby and I struggled to wrap out brains around what we had learned, our sons behaviour was still amping up. We decided to medicate him for the ADHD.
Sometimes I sit and cry, and I mourn the loss of a “normal” life. I mourn for my son, and for how hard he has to work to do things that come so easily to his siblings. I mourn for his brother and his sisters, and all the things they don’t get to do, because it’s too hard for their brother to deal with. I mourn for my husband and for me, and for the loss of what we had always dreamed we would have.
- I cry and I get angry when his sisters and brother have more friends to play with than they do time to play, but he has no one asking him for a play date.
- I cry and I get angry when I hear other children say that he’s strange, because he doesn’t act like they do.
- I cry and I get angry when people give us dirty looks in the store; if only they realized that he’s trying so hard to be good!
- I cry and I get angry because I feel that time moves too slowly, and when they find a cure, or a treatment, it will be too late for my boy. For my family.
This is what it’s like to be a family with Autism. Because Autism doesn’t discriminate. It doesn’t care who it takes. It is random and fickle and you never know it’s coming. And there is NOTHING you can do to stop it. We’re working on finding a cure, a treatment, a way to best this beast. But for now, all we can do is try to slip in, past the guards. Helping kids where we can, in whatever way we can.
April is Autism Awareness month; a chance to open up communication about what Autism is, how it affects everyone, and what each of us can do. And it’s not just about educating people who are unfamiliar with autism, but it’s also about helping families who have recently received an autism diagnosis**.
But, I can’t leave you thinking that it’s all gloom and doom at our home. Not in a million years. For you see, my baby also has an AMAZING sense of humor, an amazing heart, and he is -plain and simple- a funny, FUNNY kid!
I will leave you with one of my favorite stories.
One day, when I was passing out goodnight kisses, my little man started kissing me over and over and over! I was laughing, and asked him what was up with all these amazing kisses? His answer:
Cheers!
**Autism Speaks is a great place to go to learn more about Autism and Autism Spectrum Disorders.
Thanks so much for your post Terry! You are an amazing mom!
That was beautiful. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for the story. I am in tears. My daughter also on the autism spectrum.
Thank you for sharing. Your son, and other children, are adorable! My son is also on the Autistic Spectrum. He is almost 13 now and got his diagonosis when he was 4, and started receiving help. You wouldn't believe all the things he can now do!! He can play team sports, has friends, needs no more modifications at school, and is on the honor roll. He's caught up to his peers in many ways, but will always be a bit quirky/different. That's okay – he makes life exciting around here! I loved your little quote from your son. It reminds me of my son, he has such a unique way of expressing himself and way of looking at things. My son told me playing at the beach helps him "get his creeps out", our whole family adopted that saying afterward, lol!
I'm hoping you will see many amazing improvements over the years (as I have) now that you have a diagnosis and the right school/team working with him.
Thank you so much for sharing! I used to be a behavior analyst and worked with great kids like your son on a daily basis. I had such great respect for the families I worked with, the moms in particular. Thanks for showing the positive side of the spectrum and giving others hope! :o)
What an amazing story. I admire any mother who can take a challenge like yours and work their way through it! I think there should be awards for mothers like you who care so much and do everything they can for their children despite their abilities!God Bless you!
Thanks, everyone! And thank you, Heidi, for a chance to post on Honeybear Lane!!
My brother was diagnosed with PDD at a young age and struggled a lot in school, especially socially. There were many years of heartache, but through a lot of hard work and lots of love, he has overcome his PDD (would no longer be diagnosed with it), and is taking regular classes in college. Last semester he got one B and the rest of his classes he got A's in.
It is hard, but I truly believe that through the willingness of families like yours sharing their story and spreading awareness, the lives of these wonderful children will be greatly improved.
Thank you for telling your story. There are so many wonderful children out there that people see visually as "normal" but then do not understand when they see them act differently. I have a 9 year old son who is also autism spectrum disorder and know the challenges families face. Does anyone have any suggestions for help? I live in a small rural area, and there are no programs, etc.. to help my son. Thanks!
Love your post! I am Mom to two wonderful autistic boys. They could not be more different, and yet, they are both obviously autistic. It is a strange beast to be sure. Thank you for telling your family's story.
Thank you for telling your story. I sit here in tears reading this post because I have one son diagnosed with PDD-NOS and getting tested for ADHD within the month, and our second son is starting to show characteristics of Autism as well. It breaks my heart for him every day, and now his brother too. Its hard because I wish for a "normal" life, but also know that for us this is our "normal".
It makes it easier to cope knowing that we arent the only ones out there. As mothers of children on the spectrum we should all rally together, a good support system is awesome when dealing with everything that IS Autism.
I appreciate your post. It definitely spoke to me in a time when I needed maybe a bit of insight from another Mom out there in a similar situation!
Hi ladys.. i loved your stories , my nephew was daignosed with spectrum autsim 2 months ago.. we are all in shock, his mom is just crying with no stop as if there is no hope… the thing is they live in my home country Syria with very little resources and now with the war over there make it imposible to do anything.. so i am trying so hard to gather all information i can find and send it to his mom so she will help him… i had so much hope reading the stories of your kids and i hope from god to grand my nephew and all sick kids in the world the health ..
i would be very gratefull if you can help me finding the right sources as you all know when searching the net it not always the right infos. thank you again and may god bless you and your families..