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To Have a Baby. Or Not.

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Have you ever seen a mom who is toting around what seems like a million kids, all who are whining/crying about something?  And maybe you said to yourself, “Wow–why don’t people wait a little longer to have another child?!”  Because clearly this mom is in over her head.  Clearly she is not doing a good job because her kids are unhappy.  And obviously you would do much better.  Your child would NEVER scream in a store.  Or run away from you.  Or pee in the corner.

Or how about the opposite scenario:  A young couple has been married for six or seven years.  “Why don’t they have any kids?  Are they just so into their careers that they don’t want to bother with kids?”  a person might think to themselves.  Maybe that couple has been trying to have kids for years and years and haven’t been able to.  Or maybe they were pregnant but miscarried.  What if they are trying to adopt?

Everyone has or doesn’t have kids in their own timing for their own reasons.

And the reason might simply be “Because God told me to.”

That’s the reason Miss E is here so soon.  I was dead-set on not having another baby while my husband was in school. I was so overwhelmed with my two energetic boys I just didn’t think there was any way I could survive.  I would look at those moms who kept having kids 18 months apart and wondered how on earth they could do it (I still think that, btw.)

I had dreams about a baby girl.  And as months went by, I just kept feeling so strong like I needed to have another baby soon.  And here we are, folks.

There are sometimes pitiable moments of hiding in the bathroom and wondering what possessed me to even want kids in the first place.  Often these days I long for the days of just going out to eat or a movie without a babysitter.  At the store I am a traveling circus, juggling a newborn and a toddler who likes to run away while my three year old begs for everything sugary in sight.  But not one day goes by when I don’t thank the Lord for my miraculous little girl.  The love that I have for this little baby pushes all those thoughts out the door.  For all my children.

And when they say that motherhood is the toughest job you will ever do, that’s true.  But I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

 

22 Comments

  1. Those babies of yours are adorable. I had my children close together too. It was a challenge, but so worth it! They are grown now and, like you, having their own little ones. Both of those pictures took me back. ;o)

  2. I really needed to read this today. It was a horrible morning that I spent the drive to work doubting our intentions of having another baby even though I want one so bad. At the end of the day, I know my little man will make me smile and the tantrums of this morning will be in the past!

    1. Heidi @ Honeybear Lane says:

      Glad that it made you feel better. Thanks for your comment, all the best!

  3. Hey, my kids are a little more spaced–and I felt “ready” every time–but I’m pretty sure there isn’t a day goes by where I still don’t feel “What was I THINKING??????” But yes, totally agree. Blessings and miracles. And a whole lotta mom-crazy :).

  4. I remember when my 2 older kids were 3 and 4. For some odd reason I had a feeling that I needed to have another child. It was this all consuming feeling that I needed to be pregnant. I was pregnant with my youngest a few months later. I had this feeling come over me a few years ago but my husband said, no, so no more babies for me. I went to nursing school instead. I love when the kids are little. They need their mommy. My kids still need me but not to make them sandwiches, read to them and such. Now it’s what’s for dinner, wash my shirt and drive me here. Ugh! lol.

    1. Heidi @ Honeybear Lane says:

      I’m nervous about the teenager phase! But every phase has its pros and cons. Thanks for your comment!

  5. I wouldn’t trade it anything either, EVER! You go girl. And thank God for those bathroom door locks. 🙂

    1. Heidi @ Honeybear Lane says:

      Yes. 🙂

  6. I have three kids, ages 3, 2, and 6 months. We had always planned on our kids being 18 months to 2 years apart (second one came a little sooner than planned). I am so grateful that my second one came so soon. My two older kids play so well together and of course fight at times but they have each other and I think that’s important. Yes, the house is crazy right now and will be for some time (we want 5 or 6 kids). It’s all worth it in the end when the whole family comes home for the holidays and I have 20+ grandkids running around. Isn’t family wonderful?!!!

    1. Heidi @ Honeybear Lane says:

      It’s true, so much fun when they are all together at the holidays! Hang in there Mama!

  7. Thank you for posting, I really needed to read this because I’m feeling kind of crazy these days. I have a 3 month old and freshly 2 year old and sometimes I think “WHAT WAS I THINKING?!?!?!” My friend’s kids are all 12 months apart (she has 3 kids) and I look at her sometimes and think, “No way, I don’t want that…” To each their own, you know? You love your kids and that’s all that matters. I personally don’t know if I could have a 3rd (my husband and I are BOTH in school) so it would be basically impossible to juggle it all.

    1. Heidi @ Honeybear Lane says:

      It is hard. But it’s an individual decision, and it will hopefully ease up as they get older and more self sufficient. At least that’s what I keep telling myself! 🙂

    1. Heidi @ Honeybear Lane says:

      Thanks Natalie–thanks for all your wonderful comments.

  8. oh man I can’t imagine grocery shopping with 3 kids! My toddler is hard enough to shop with! but your girl is beautiful!

    1. Heidi @ Honeybear Lane says:

      Yes, it’s not my fav. Did you read my post on shopping with them?

  9. Cheers to you! I’ve seen a lot of the opinion lately that something has to be easy for it to be wonderful. It doesn’t. Motherhood is proof of that. It can be the greatest challenge and bring the most joy. Good for you Heidi and good luck!

    1. Heidi @ Honeybear Lane says:

      That’s strange, since some of the most wonderful things were the result of something very difficult. Thanks Lechelle!

  10. It’s a very tough decision that can only be made by the couple. You will be so happy they are so close in age as they grow up–SO happy!

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