These are such good tips! My two year old was getting cranky a lot recently, so we asked our parents what they did when the kids were acting up, and they pretty much said what you did here. I’ve started on it, specifically spending more one-on-one time, letting her help with the chores, and making sure she isn’t hungry or tired, and I’ve already seen a huge improvement. =)
As an Early Childhood Education student, I think that most of these suggestions are spot on! The only thing that I would reconsider is the time-out sessions. Children that young are not yet at the developmental stage where they can just sit and reflect on their behaviour. Time-outs can be humiliating and the child may only learn to say what he or she thinks you want to hear instead of understanding why. (Eg. saying ‘sorry’). Instead, many teachers use a form of positive guidance called redirection: For example, let’s say a child is throwing her toys. Instead of saying “No throwing. What did I tell you? Now go to time-out!”, try “Toys are for playing. If you want to throw something, find a ball.” If the child continues the behaviour say, “You’re telling me that you don’t want to play with that right now. Are you all done?” If they continue further say, “Okay, you’re all done with that for now. Let’s find something else to play with.”
Another alternative to traditional time-outs is a guided time-out. Instead of leaving the child alone to self-reflect (which he or she is likely not ready to do yet), the adult stays with the child to provide emotional support and together they talk through what happened.
Reward systems can work, but sometimes only for the short term. Often the child will need larger and larger rewards just to be motivated to behave. Sincere praise for good behaviour is the best reward a child can have.
I don’t feel that this statement is outdated. I am home, I can clean the house as a gift to my husband because I love him. I don’t feel like I am anti-feministic in this way. My husband has zero expectation for me when it comes to keeping the house clean and we have a healthy marriage.
Thanks for this post i’ve been feeling like such a lousy mom -but reading this made me feel better and gave me some good ideas.
These are such good tips! My two year old was getting cranky a lot recently, so we asked our parents what they did when the kids were acting up, and they pretty much said what you did here. I’ve started on it, specifically spending more one-on-one time, letting her help with the chores, and making sure she isn’t hungry or tired, and I’ve already seen a huge improvement. =)
Thanks. These are great reminders. It’s good to know that all kids have their moments, not just mine!
As an Early Childhood Education student, I think that most of these suggestions are spot on! The only thing that I would reconsider is the time-out sessions. Children that young are not yet at the developmental stage where they can just sit and reflect on their behaviour. Time-outs can be humiliating and the child may only learn to say what he or she thinks you want to hear instead of understanding why. (Eg. saying ‘sorry’). Instead, many teachers use a form of positive guidance called redirection: For example, let’s say a child is throwing her toys. Instead of saying “No throwing. What did I tell you? Now go to time-out!”, try “Toys are for playing. If you want to throw something, find a ball.” If the child continues the behaviour say, “You’re telling me that you don’t want to play with that right now. Are you all done?” If they continue further say, “Okay, you’re all done with that for now. Let’s find something else to play with.”
Another alternative to traditional time-outs is a guided time-out. Instead of leaving the child alone to self-reflect (which he or she is likely not ready to do yet), the adult stays with the child to provide emotional support and together they talk through what happened.
Reward systems can work, but sometimes only for the short term. Often the child will need larger and larger rewards just to be motivated to behave. Sincere praise for good behaviour is the best reward a child can have.
“A clean house helps Daddy to feel less stressed out after a stressful day”.
Really, what year are we living in, feels like this is a statement from a 1950’s good-wife manual!!
I don’t feel that this statement is outdated. I am home, I can clean the house as a gift to my husband because I love him. I don’t feel like I am anti-feministic in this way. My husband has zero expectation for me when it comes to keeping the house clean and we have a healthy marriage.